This blog wasn't created just to offend people, but it was created for me to freely speak my mind. I do have a warning at the very top of my blog. It shows up anytime anyone puts a link to my blog on twitter or facebook. The warning is well visible even before you click the link.
Recently I heard a rumor that someone was offended by, what I thought, was one of my least offensive blog... If this really is true then I genuinely do apologize. That blog was meant to be a light in the dark. It was meant to be a pick me up mostly for myself, but I found out later it gave several people got that small dose of laughter that they needed to make it through the day.
This blog wasn't created for me to pour my heart into. I'm not one to pour my heart into anything public. My heart is one of the most fragile things about me. I'm pretty sure most people's hearts are. It was merely created for me to put a little piece of my mind out there for the world to see. My heat is something I like to keep private.
Kids are so naive that they don't have a problem putting their hearts on the line. They don't know any better. Eventually though kids start to have their heart broken. While it is sad, it is also a necessary part of life. It's necessary because hearts are so easily broken, and if they don't learn as a child to keep it safe then it will only hurt more if it breaks when they are older. Once upon a time I had one of those open naive hearts, but through time I learned the dangers of laying your heart on the line. The more people you let in, the more pieces it breaks into.
When facebook was first created was a place for me to keep in touch with my college friends. Once it was opened up to the world people were adding me left and right. I was reconnecting with people I hadn't seen or talked to in almost a decade. It seemed so right and so good. After time I realized that most of my college friends had become even less than acquaintances and it was time for me to let go. Slowly I began deleting them. Not many ever noticed. I figured the ones that did would add me back... and a few did.
As time went on I began to realize how silly facebook had become and how it really has changed our lives. Yes, it made it so much easier to communicate and keep in touch, but there is a such thing as too much of a good thing. Noticing the true dangers of facebook inspired me to write my first blog.
Eventually some of these dangers began to really hit close to home. I was starting to feel the effects of too much of this once good thing. This good thing was becoming a bad, hurtful, and almost cruel. It was becoming a place where I no longer felt safe. Feeling this way caused me to again address facebook in another blog. No matter how much I hid my facebook, no matter how many people I deleted, people still found ways to hurt my already fragile heart. I couldn't hide no matter what I did.
The past few weeks have been particularly hard on my heart for various reasons. My fragile heart has been tossed, beaten, bruised, stabbed, and every other verb that translates as pain. I tried my best to ignore the things that hurt me, but my heart could only take so much. I tried to protect myself, but it seemed like protecting myself only hurt other people. I can't stand hurting people, especially people I care about... Especially when all I was trying to do was take the few pieces of my heart that haven't been lost in the wind of life and glue them back together...
My kids and my husband need my heart to be off life support. They really need it to be whole, so while it heals, and to keep me from hurting anyone else... My facebook will be no more...
It's hard. It really is. It was how I shared pictures, shared stories, shared my life...
From now on I'll communicate to my family and close friends through email. email@example.com
This blog is also public. On the top of the column to the right there is a place to put your email and blogger will email you a link each time I write a new blog. If you have a blogger account you can follow me using the link at the top of the page.
This is it though. I'm closing the doors, and this is as far as I can let the world in from now on.