Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
going to let this rest
This one is going to be quick, and in my opinion a meaningless blog. It has been brought to my attention, however, that I need to clarify once again that unless your name is stated in a blog (i.e. Dear Pastor Ben) Than the blog is NOT about you. My blogs are generic and just about life. I put as much truth into them as my life has allowed me to experience. I don't post blogs about simple opinions but back my opinions with truth and wisdom.
I also need to point out again that I make it clear that these blogs are very opinionated and sometimes can be offensive to those who look to be offended and warn against reading by such people...
Now if you are one of those people stated above and you still chose to read my blog... Stop sending me emails about it! No, I won't delete a thing. I won't change who I am. You can take it or leave it. I promise I won't be offended no matter what you do.
So now... I'm going to let this rest
I also need to point out again that I make it clear that these blogs are very opinionated and sometimes can be offensive to those who look to be offended and warn against reading by such people...
Now if you are one of those people stated above and you still chose to read my blog... Stop sending me emails about it! No, I won't delete a thing. I won't change who I am. You can take it or leave it. I promise I won't be offended no matter what you do.
So now... I'm going to let this rest
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Take my heart, but please don't break it...
"I'm just putting a piece of my mind out there for the world to see. If you are someone that gets easily offended then you might not want to read this blog. If you like it, feel free to share it! :)" -Me
This blog wasn't created just to offend people, but it was created for me to freely speak my mind. I do have a warning at the very top of my blog. It shows up anytime anyone puts a link to my blog on twitter or facebook. The warning is well visible even before you click the link.
Recently I heard a rumor that someone was offended by, what I thought, was one of my least offensive blog... If this really is true then I genuinely do apologize. That blog was meant to be a light in the dark. It was meant to be a pick me up mostly for myself, but I found out later it gave several people got that small dose of laughter that they needed to make it through the day.
This blog wasn't created for me to pour my heart into. I'm not one to pour my heart into anything public. My heart is one of the most fragile things about me. I'm pretty sure most people's hearts are. It was merely created for me to put a little piece of my mind out there for the world to see. My heat is something I like to keep private.
Kids are so naive that they don't have a problem putting their hearts on the line. They don't know any better. Eventually though kids start to have their heart broken. While it is sad, it is also a necessary part of life. It's necessary because hearts are so easily broken, and if they don't learn as a child to keep it safe then it will only hurt more if it breaks when they are older. Once upon a time I had one of those open naive hearts, but through time I learned the dangers of laying your heart on the line. The more people you let in, the more pieces it breaks into.
When facebook was first created was a place for me to keep in touch with my college friends. Once it was opened up to the world people were adding me left and right. I was reconnecting with people I hadn't seen or talked to in almost a decade. It seemed so right and so good. After time I realized that most of my college friends had become even less than acquaintances and it was time for me to let go. Slowly I began deleting them. Not many ever noticed. I figured the ones that did would add me back... and a few did.
As time went on I began to realize how silly facebook had become and how it really has changed our lives. Yes, it made it so much easier to communicate and keep in touch, but there is a such thing as too much of a good thing. Noticing the true dangers of facebook inspired me to write my first blog.
Eventually some of these dangers began to really hit close to home. I was starting to feel the effects of too much of this once good thing. This good thing was becoming a bad, hurtful, and almost cruel. It was becoming a place where I no longer felt safe. Feeling this way caused me to again address facebook in another blog. No matter how much I hid my facebook, no matter how many people I deleted, people still found ways to hurt my already fragile heart. I couldn't hide no matter what I did.
The past few weeks have been particularly hard on my heart for various reasons. My fragile heart has been tossed, beaten, bruised, stabbed, and every other verb that translates as pain. I tried my best to ignore the things that hurt me, but my heart could only take so much. I tried to protect myself, but it seemed like protecting myself only hurt other people. I can't stand hurting people, especially people I care about... Especially when all I was trying to do was take the few pieces of my heart that haven't been lost in the wind of life and glue them back together...
My kids and my husband need my heart to be off life support. They really need it to be whole, so while it heals, and to keep me from hurting anyone else... My facebook will be no more...
It's hard. It really is. It was how I shared pictures, shared stories, shared my life...
From now on I'll communicate to my family and close friends through email. jdgkurtz@gmail.com
This blog is also public. On the top of the column to the right there is a place to put your email and blogger will email you a link each time I write a new blog. If you have a blogger account you can follow me using the link at the top of the page.
This is it though. I'm closing the doors, and this is as far as I can let the world in from now on.
This blog wasn't created just to offend people, but it was created for me to freely speak my mind. I do have a warning at the very top of my blog. It shows up anytime anyone puts a link to my blog on twitter or facebook. The warning is well visible even before you click the link.
Recently I heard a rumor that someone was offended by, what I thought, was one of my least offensive blog... If this really is true then I genuinely do apologize. That blog was meant to be a light in the dark. It was meant to be a pick me up mostly for myself, but I found out later it gave several people got that small dose of laughter that they needed to make it through the day.
This blog wasn't created for me to pour my heart into. I'm not one to pour my heart into anything public. My heart is one of the most fragile things about me. I'm pretty sure most people's hearts are. It was merely created for me to put a little piece of my mind out there for the world to see. My heat is something I like to keep private.
Kids are so naive that they don't have a problem putting their hearts on the line. They don't know any better. Eventually though kids start to have their heart broken. While it is sad, it is also a necessary part of life. It's necessary because hearts are so easily broken, and if they don't learn as a child to keep it safe then it will only hurt more if it breaks when they are older. Once upon a time I had one of those open naive hearts, but through time I learned the dangers of laying your heart on the line. The more people you let in, the more pieces it breaks into.
When facebook was first created was a place for me to keep in touch with my college friends. Once it was opened up to the world people were adding me left and right. I was reconnecting with people I hadn't seen or talked to in almost a decade. It seemed so right and so good. After time I realized that most of my college friends had become even less than acquaintances and it was time for me to let go. Slowly I began deleting them. Not many ever noticed. I figured the ones that did would add me back... and a few did.
As time went on I began to realize how silly facebook had become and how it really has changed our lives. Yes, it made it so much easier to communicate and keep in touch, but there is a such thing as too much of a good thing. Noticing the true dangers of facebook inspired me to write my first blog.
Eventually some of these dangers began to really hit close to home. I was starting to feel the effects of too much of this once good thing. This good thing was becoming a bad, hurtful, and almost cruel. It was becoming a place where I no longer felt safe. Feeling this way caused me to again address facebook in another blog. No matter how much I hid my facebook, no matter how many people I deleted, people still found ways to hurt my already fragile heart. I couldn't hide no matter what I did.
The past few weeks have been particularly hard on my heart for various reasons. My fragile heart has been tossed, beaten, bruised, stabbed, and every other verb that translates as pain. I tried my best to ignore the things that hurt me, but my heart could only take so much. I tried to protect myself, but it seemed like protecting myself only hurt other people. I can't stand hurting people, especially people I care about... Especially when all I was trying to do was take the few pieces of my heart that haven't been lost in the wind of life and glue them back together...
My kids and my husband need my heart to be off life support. They really need it to be whole, so while it heals, and to keep me from hurting anyone else... My facebook will be no more...
It's hard. It really is. It was how I shared pictures, shared stories, shared my life...
From now on I'll communicate to my family and close friends through email. jdgkurtz@gmail.com
This blog is also public. On the top of the column to the right there is a place to put your email and blogger will email you a link each time I write a new blog. If you have a blogger account you can follow me using the link at the top of the page.
This is it though. I'm closing the doors, and this is as far as I can let the world in from now on.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Top 10 things I really wish my kids would understand...
10. You can't wear socks with flip flops. Unless of course they are toe socks... But it just doesn't work. Don't argue.. don't complain... And listen to me when I say "please don't wear that out..." You'll thank me when your older...
9. Put your shoes up. I'm sorry you can't find a shoe. I really am, but I'm not the one who lost it and therefore I shouldn't be expected to know where it is. This goes for teddy bears, blankets, clothes, toys and everything else.
8.Absolutely do not jump on my couch. I get that little kids have energy.. I really do, but the fact that I tell you time and time again "Don't jump on the couch" and yet you still do it is really annoying. When you get a job and can afford to by me a new couch every time you break it then I'll half consider letting you jump on it. By the way, when you do jump on it and fall off, stop complaining to me about it... I mean it's your own fault and EVERY scratch does NOT require a band-aid...
7. Screaming is not a type of inside voice. When I'm on my computer with my headphones, trying to drown you out while attempting to accomplish some homework or just take a break from entertaining you or feeding you I shouldn't be able to clearly hear your conversations. Your friends are standing next to you and last I check their hearing was fine.
6. Trash goes in the trash. It's really annoying feeling like for every one step I take forward in keeping our house clean that you cause me to take two steps back. It's really annoying to find your empty juice boxes sitting on the table... or the floor... or anywhere... It's not like I hid the trash can or you're not capable of getting off your butt and taking care of your own trash. I know I tell you all the time to throw your stuff away. I'm not a maid, I'm a mother!
5. Sponge Bob is not always on. The thing is, while I understand that you're not use to commercials and it seems as though there are multiple preschool and kid channels on 24/7, sometimes sponge bob or dora or care bears who whatever your into that day isn't on demand. Sometimes you actually have to wait for the show to come on and sometimes you even have to sit through the commercials that come with it. I also know that while you don't believe this... it's really true... once upon a time not only were kids shows limited to early Saturday mornings IF we owned an actual movie we had to REWIND it to watch it again...
4. Toilet paper is not an option. It's the law! It's also not necessary to use an entire roll the times that you do choose to use it. Mommy really hates plunging your poop. It's really really gross! Since we are on the subject of bathroom habits it is also unnecessary to use an entire bottle of tooth paste to brush your teeth. Shampoo is for washing Your hair, and not your barbies hair.
3. Stop telling me your hungry. I promise, I will feed you. I feed you the same times everyday. Many times I even try to get your opinion on what I make and yet you still take one bite and tell me your full. I really could care less if you think you don't like the things I make. I really don't care that you only want one bite, but don't get upset when I don't let you have a bowl of animal crackers and hour later. Quit acting like I completely neglect you and just eat when I tell you to.
2. Don't bother me when I'm in the middle of something important. I can't even begin to count how many times I'm on the phone, doing homework, writing a blog or whatever I'm doing, that a child comes to me acting like it's super important and all they really have to say is "I found this really cool rock!" "Watch me jump on one foot!" "I need to go to the bathroom!" "Look at my boo-boo" as you shove your elbow into my face because you got a mosquito bite. I know that you think these things are way more important then whatever boring thing I'm up to, but I promise... They are not! When I hear "mommy mommy mommy" don't just get louder... I heard you! Are you hurt enough to need to go to the hospital? no? ok... leave... we are done...
1. Your stuff is really my stuff. This is my favorite, and I'm sorry, but it's true! Everything you think you own is actually mine and I'm letting you borrow it temporarily until the day you move out at which time we will then discuss what is yours. Until then absolutely do not pitch a fit when I let someone else play with my toys, watch my movies, or play in my play room. Keep this in mind and we'll get along much better!
Now I know kids will be kids, but it's still nice to poke fun and some of the things they do and pray to God when they have kids one day they go through the same things. It just goes to show how much I do love them because I do put up with things like this and at the end of the day still enjoy my kisses and hugs as I put them to bed. Even though sometimes I want to pull my hair out I still cherish every moment and know that one day I'll miss all these things. I hope all the parents out there were able to crack a little smile today :)
9. Put your shoes up. I'm sorry you can't find a shoe. I really am, but I'm not the one who lost it and therefore I shouldn't be expected to know where it is. This goes for teddy bears, blankets, clothes, toys and everything else.
8.Absolutely do not jump on my couch. I get that little kids have energy.. I really do, but the fact that I tell you time and time again "Don't jump on the couch" and yet you still do it is really annoying. When you get a job and can afford to by me a new couch every time you break it then I'll half consider letting you jump on it. By the way, when you do jump on it and fall off, stop complaining to me about it... I mean it's your own fault and EVERY scratch does NOT require a band-aid...
7. Screaming is not a type of inside voice. When I'm on my computer with my headphones, trying to drown you out while attempting to accomplish some homework or just take a break from entertaining you or feeding you I shouldn't be able to clearly hear your conversations. Your friends are standing next to you and last I check their hearing was fine.
6. Trash goes in the trash. It's really annoying feeling like for every one step I take forward in keeping our house clean that you cause me to take two steps back. It's really annoying to find your empty juice boxes sitting on the table... or the floor... or anywhere... It's not like I hid the trash can or you're not capable of getting off your butt and taking care of your own trash. I know I tell you all the time to throw your stuff away. I'm not a maid, I'm a mother!
5. Sponge Bob is not always on. The thing is, while I understand that you're not use to commercials and it seems as though there are multiple preschool and kid channels on 24/7, sometimes sponge bob or dora or care bears who whatever your into that day isn't on demand. Sometimes you actually have to wait for the show to come on and sometimes you even have to sit through the commercials that come with it. I also know that while you don't believe this... it's really true... once upon a time not only were kids shows limited to early Saturday mornings IF we owned an actual movie we had to REWIND it to watch it again...
4. Toilet paper is not an option. It's the law! It's also not necessary to use an entire roll the times that you do choose to use it. Mommy really hates plunging your poop. It's really really gross! Since we are on the subject of bathroom habits it is also unnecessary to use an entire bottle of tooth paste to brush your teeth. Shampoo is for washing Your hair, and not your barbies hair.
3. Stop telling me your hungry. I promise, I will feed you. I feed you the same times everyday. Many times I even try to get your opinion on what I make and yet you still take one bite and tell me your full. I really could care less if you think you don't like the things I make. I really don't care that you only want one bite, but don't get upset when I don't let you have a bowl of animal crackers and hour later. Quit acting like I completely neglect you and just eat when I tell you to.
2. Don't bother me when I'm in the middle of something important. I can't even begin to count how many times I'm on the phone, doing homework, writing a blog or whatever I'm doing, that a child comes to me acting like it's super important and all they really have to say is "I found this really cool rock!" "Watch me jump on one foot!" "I need to go to the bathroom!" "Look at my boo-boo" as you shove your elbow into my face because you got a mosquito bite. I know that you think these things are way more important then whatever boring thing I'm up to, but I promise... They are not! When I hear "mommy mommy mommy" don't just get louder... I heard you! Are you hurt enough to need to go to the hospital? no? ok... leave... we are done...
1. Your stuff is really my stuff. This is my favorite, and I'm sorry, but it's true! Everything you think you own is actually mine and I'm letting you borrow it temporarily until the day you move out at which time we will then discuss what is yours. Until then absolutely do not pitch a fit when I let someone else play with my toys, watch my movies, or play in my play room. Keep this in mind and we'll get along much better!
Now I know kids will be kids, but it's still nice to poke fun and some of the things they do and pray to God when they have kids one day they go through the same things. It just goes to show how much I do love them because I do put up with things like this and at the end of the day still enjoy my kisses and hugs as I put them to bed. Even though sometimes I want to pull my hair out I still cherish every moment and know that one day I'll miss all these things. I hope all the parents out there were able to crack a little smile today :)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Looking through Hurt-tinted Colored Glasses...
We've all heard the saying "rose-tinted" glasses. When you look through them everything looks positive and good. Recently the statement of "hurt-tinted" glasses was made to me. I thought about that and it really made sense. When you look through "hurt-tinted" glasses it's as if everything looks painful... everything people say or do hurt you even when they aren't meant to.
It made me wonder how many people in our world wear them or are wearing them. If you turn on the radio you'll most likely hear a song about break ups and heartache. I think we all put on hurt-tinted glasses sometimes without even realizing it. Sometimes I think life becomes so much that we don't know any other way to look at things.
Most people have good reason to keep their glasses on. It's so hard to trust these days. It's so hard to put your heart out there. I know for me 9 out of 10 times that I do put my heart out in the open someone bumps into it and breaks a piece off.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. If I were then there wouldn't be so many heartbreaking songs on the radio. The reason those are the ones that become hits is because it's so much easier to deal with life when it has a soundtrack. It's also kind of a relief to hear someone else going through the same pain.
It seems like the older I get the harder people run into me. The older I get the harder it is to find good friends and the closer I stick to my family. That's part of the reason I limited my facebook to only 150 people. Considering over half of them are related to me anyone else who made the cut should really consider themselves special.
I am trying though. I'm trying my best to keep my hurt-tinted glasses on my night stand and try to see things for what they are. I'm trying my best to understand life as it's handed to me with my thoughts and not my emotions.
All I ask is that you do the same. To all my readers, take off the hurt glasses and smile. The world looks so much brighter that way.
It made me wonder how many people in our world wear them or are wearing them. If you turn on the radio you'll most likely hear a song about break ups and heartache. I think we all put on hurt-tinted glasses sometimes without even realizing it. Sometimes I think life becomes so much that we don't know any other way to look at things.
Most people have good reason to keep their glasses on. It's so hard to trust these days. It's so hard to put your heart out there. I know for me 9 out of 10 times that I do put my heart out in the open someone bumps into it and breaks a piece off.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. If I were then there wouldn't be so many heartbreaking songs on the radio. The reason those are the ones that become hits is because it's so much easier to deal with life when it has a soundtrack. It's also kind of a relief to hear someone else going through the same pain.
It seems like the older I get the harder people run into me. The older I get the harder it is to find good friends and the closer I stick to my family. That's part of the reason I limited my facebook to only 150 people. Considering over half of them are related to me anyone else who made the cut should really consider themselves special.
I am trying though. I'm trying my best to keep my hurt-tinted glasses on my night stand and try to see things for what they are. I'm trying my best to understand life as it's handed to me with my thoughts and not my emotions.
All I ask is that you do the same. To all my readers, take off the hurt glasses and smile. The world looks so much brighter that way.
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