That's so Gay!

The other day I was walking through a store and I saw a hot pink mug with a rainbow for a handle. I took a picture of it and labeled the picture "this is a gay mug"

Yes... I said it! I called an object gay!

I also don't see anything offensive with the way I used the phrase. Before you completely write me off, let me explain my point.

First I'd like to point out the disclaimer at the top of this blog and those easily offended not to stop reading now. Secondly I'm not a homophobic, and I accept homosexuals for who they are. Thirdly this blog was written because I've recently been watching old episodes of "Glee" and it really upset me how they made Finn look like the bad guy for being uncomfortable with his new gay bother, without stressing the importance for Kurt to understand and respect that Finn just needed some time and space to adjust to things.

Now, there is a campaign out called "Think before you speak". I do believe in this campaign. I think it is very important to think before you speak. At the same time it's important to understand that there are two types of gay. There are gay people and then there are flaming gay people. My brother is gay. Kurt from "Glee" is flaming gay. My brother did not get picked on in high school. Kurt from "Glee" does.

When I call something "gay" I'm saying "this object is something a flaming gay guy might accessorize with". A rainbow scarf is "gay". Don't get me wrong. I respect those who are offended and don't use the term often, and I'm cautious as to whom I use it with. I'm not going to say it to someone I just met, but my brother and I might go shopping and point out all the gay rainbow scarfs on the shelf! It's kind of like if someone saw something that I would like to accessorize with they might say "that is so JD Kurtz!"

Now it is inappropriate to throw the label on anything and everything you don't like. "OMG fried chicken is so gay!" is a not very cool thing to say and people that say such things have ruined the "That's so gay" comment for people like me who use it properly.

Now with all that said I'd like to point out a new campaign that I think should be created "Think before you are."; For all the Kurt's out there running around in your tight sequin pants being victimized for your flaming gayness. If I walked around my high school dressed like Lady GaGa I'd be picked on a bullied too! It is very important to me to promote anti-bullying, but I also feel it's important to teach people not to egg it on! Kurt doesn't necessarily get picked on for being "gay" he gets picked of for dressing flaming gay.

Am I saying we shouldn't let teenagers express themselves? Of course not! But they need to understand that there are going to be consequences for their actions. Just as a girl with big boobs, wearing a shirt that practically completely exposes them, would most likely get labeled "easy" while guys(and some girls) can't keep their eyes off of them; gay boys who dress a little too much like it's Halloween on any given day need to know they are going to get attention for it and sometimes it's not always what they are looking for.

Let me stress again that I'm in no way promoting bullying. I'm not defending it at all. I really do wish we lived in a world where everyone could dress how they like without being judged or labeled for it, but that's not the world we live in.

It's not a fair world, and it sucks, but this is what we've got. How you live in it is up to you.

 

Pumped up Kicks

"Pumped up Kicks", by Foster the People...

It's quickly become one of the most popular songs on the charts right now. If you listen to it, it sounds catchy. It kind of makes you want to bob your head a little even...

There's a problem though... Listen to the lyrics. The song is actually about a homicidal teenager! 

I've brought this the people's attention and the comments I get are pretty similar. "It's so upbeat and poppy, most kids aren't really listening to the lyrics anyway." 

I thought, maybe that's the truth. Maybe kids AREN'T listening to the lyrics, so I decided to ask one. I asked a 13 year old boy if he'd heard the song and what he thought of it. Here's what he said:

"The song is about a kid who isn't as cool as the other kids, and they probably pick on him, so he finds a gun and wants to shoot all the kids who are cooler than him."

When I asked how he knew what the lyrics were, he said he found them on youtube. 

On Tuesday, April 20, 1999, I was riding the bus home from school. I had small radio and headphones that I would use to listen to the radio during my ride. I was listening to Sharky on Mix103.1, just like I did every afternoon. He was talking about a massacre that had happened at high school in Colorado. He was hard to listen to, but I kept listening. It was hard because theses were kids that were the same age as me. This was something that could have easily been my school. 

 Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were two boys that had been picked on one too many times. They were different and they were smart; they weren't cool and they knew it; 12 students and 1 teacher died. 21 students were physically injured, but an entire nation was injured emotionally and mentally. 

Shortly after this happened several songs were actually banned from the radio or altered to fit the radio. Songs that promoted guns or teenage violence were changed or completely taken away. There are too many for me to list, but you can find the list online. Many of these songs have very minor and almost unnoticed references to violence.

My question now is... Has it really been so long since this shooting that we don't care anymore what teenagers hear? Has too much time passed that we've forgotten?

Being a teenager in the world that we live in his hard enough! They don't need any ideas! Some of you might says "J, you're over reacting a bit. Why would a song cause someone to start a massacre" 

Maybe I am, but I believe I have a right. I have kids. I have kids that will one day be teenagers and I've seen kids. I've met teenagers. I've met teenagers that are so bullied that they'll do anything to try and make it stop and YES I do believe that songs like this could put the idea in their head. 

It does happen and it did happen and it has even happened since. During the cold war, school kids had a drill "duck and cover" to try and protect them from a nuclear missile. Now the drill is "hide from the kids with the gun". It's a real drill that we practiced (it wasn't called that, but that's what the students called it).

Luckily I've got a few more years before my kids become teenagers, but they will be teenagers eventually. I hope that I can teach them the dangers of both being bullied and being the bullier. I hope that songs such as Pumped up Kicks will help encourage other parents how important it is to be involved in their teenagers lives to help prevent such songs from turning into true live news paper headlines.