I read your last blog. I do agree that children need to respect others, but do you think it's really your place to judge others parenting? Jesus tells us not to judge. I know that your kids are good, but not all kids are like yours. Some kids are more difficult and aren't as easy as yours. Just because a kid grows up to be a lazy adult doesn't mean it's the parents fault. You should be careful. Making your kids fear you as children can backfire and cause them to seriously rebel when they are teenagers.
I think it's great how you raise your kids and that's fine, but do you really think it's ok to be the one to discipline others children at your house? You laid out your points and said that even your other children have to follow your rules. Since all kids and all parents are different, I don't think it's ok for other adults to discipline children other than their own. Some ways may work different than yours.
Dear concerned reader,
I feel as though you didn't really read my blog with an open mind or full understanding of what I'm trying to say, but that's ok. You're allowed to do that. I also hope you know that just because you wrote me privately doesn't mean I can't post it publicly.
I'm glad you agree that children need to show respect. I'd like to point out though that most kids don't. I see tons of kids out in public completely disrespect their teachers and/or parents or guardians. Most times I hold my tongue.
As far as Jesus goes... You're the one who brought him up, not me. The Bible says a lot of stuff about judging others, but Jesus doesn't tell me I CAN'T. He simply says that if I do then that gives others the right to judge me. If I see a kid disrespect their parents and the parent does nothing about it then I can judge them for it and they can then turn around and look at me and see that if my kids disrespect me (and they do it sometimes!) that I'm not going to stand for it.
You are right some kids are more difficult. Some kids need more work. Sometimes that sucks for the parents, but a good parent who loves their children is up for the challenge.
I never said it was the parents fault when kids grow up to be lazy adults. It is that child's ultimate decision to grow up however they want, but they do need proper guidance. If a parent chooses not to give proper guidance to their kids then they can't really take any kind of credit for the choices that child makes as an adult.
It's not fear that I'm throwing at my children. It's respect. They are two completely different things. If I were to discipline them without love then they would fear me but because I discipline them with love they respect me.While they may turn into a defiant teenagers and rebel they will at least know that I will love them regardless and without being told will know I'm disappointed in their actions.
It's 100% ok for me to discipline children who aren't mine. If they are at my house or riding in my car I don't care who is with me. They will respect my things, my space, and my adult friends that are with me. If the parents of these children disagree then they don't have to come to my house or ride in my car.
I've had friends in the past whose children felt as though they didn't have to show me respect because they weren't made to show respect to their parents and those children don't come to my house anymore. Ever heard the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child"? I agree with that statement with all my heart and feel as though part of our worlds problem is not enough parents are letting the village help and it's wearing us all out!
When I was younger I spent a lot of time with my Aunt Terri. She was never afraid to cram as many kids into her van as she could to take us to the beach or to church or wherever else all by herself. Sometimes we'd fit 15 or 16 kids in her van and she'd be the only adult. She was pretty strict with us, and there were times where she made me so mad. she never spanked us. She didn't have to. She had these looks that hurt worse than any paddle or belt. I always knew what she expected of me and was always too afraid to test her. I also always wanted to go where ever she was going to do whatever she was doing and now as a mother and aunt myself I try and model much of my aunthood after her. (check it out, I made up a new word! Aunthood)
I was recently at her house and we were talking about life back then. She told me that the reason we all loved to be around her was because even though we knew we couldn't get away with anything we felt protected. We knew that because she wasn't afraid to follow through on her discipline she wouldn't be afraid to stand up for us if we ever needed her to.
Even more important than a child showing respect is knowing that they are loved. I make sure that children know that I do everything I do out of love.
If you really think that parents shouldn't let other's help them raise their children then no one should put their kids in schools or day cares - This includes church nursery. This means no more summer camps or sleep overs, no babysitters or nannies (which means no date nights)... let me know how that works at for you. Meanwhile I'm going to go catch a movie with my husband. I'm going to let my mother-in-law raise my kids for my while we are gone.