"I Lost My Little Girl"

When I was growing up we had a small dirt road next to our house. My little brother and I would use little shovels and buckets (or cups and spoons) to create miniature cities and roads to play with our cars on. We would spend hours using our vivid imaginations making our little car world come to life. Sometimes my older brother would pick on us for doing such childish things, but only when he felt too good to join in on the fun. (secretly he longed to play in the dirt with us!)

We played games like that as early as I can remember. We continued playing these games until I was about 13 years old. Back then all my friends had bikes. We'd ride up and down the neighborhood pretending to be police, bank robbers, stuntmen, investigators, super heroes, or whatever else came to mind! Being rebellious was staying out past 5 or pretending we had already done our homework. We were content with a tennis ball, a big stick, and an empty yard. 

Now days instead of bikes you can be sure you'll see all the 12 year old children with cell phones. (Some younger than that) Instead of making miniature cities in the dirt, kids play games with each other on facebook. I think it's safe to say that if you handed a child a tennis ball and stick they wouldn't even know what to do with it. God forbid you even make them play outside!

Some of you may be wondering why I bring up suck points since my oldest is only 5 years old... Well I recently read a statement that "5 is the new 7". Which I almost agree with, seeing as when I was 7, I was learning to read while my 5 year old is struggling with the concept in her kindergarten class as I type. I also read that the 12 to 14 year olds of yesterday are the 10 to 12 year olds of today. According to that statement my Bieber obsessed niece who will be 10 this summer will start thinking like the girl I was when I started to let go of my childhood. 

While rebellion for me was simply losing track of time and getting home a few minutes too late today's "tweens" (Kids between 8 and 12) are already struggling with pressures of drugs and alcohol and are asking sex questions that go way deeper than just "where do babies come from?". "55% of parents say childhood is over by age 11..."  

With all that said it's easy for any parent to draw some concern when it comes to raising their kids up. My 5 year old already comes home from school telling me about the pressures of being popular and liked. I dress her like a little girl (instead of miniature versions of what I wear myself like I've seen in every children's clothing store). I encourage her big imagination. We explore the neighborhood on our bikes. We build miniature cities in the dirt, and she knows exactly how to play stick ball!

Don't get me wrong... I WILL encourage my little girl to grow and mature as she moves forward in life, but for now I refuse to lose my little girl!

"Well I woke up late this morning;

My head was in the whirl.

Only when I realized,

I lost my little girl

-Paul McCartney

"You Like Me Too Much"

Everyone at some point in their lives either meets someone or is someone who sticks to others like glue. This is especially true for women. Relationships are what we do! (that doesn't mean we always do them well!) I know I've had my fair share of being on both sides to this!

When we move someplace new or our best friend recently moves.. or any big event really that makes any kind of change in our universe, as we know it, can cause someone to find the first person they see that has anything in common with them and cling to them like they are the last human on this earth!

Change most certainly can be very hard to deal with, but don't let it ruin all of your relationships!

A couple months ago I made a BIG change in my life. I took a break from some unhealthy friendships, and reconnected with some of my older friends... typically I might have used this to become a little too clingy, but I didn't.

Once upon a time I use to be the one that might call my friends one too many times and then get mad when I didn't hear back within what I thought was a timely enough manner. I have since learned that this is a very unhealthy way to be with your friends. When someone says "call anytime" that typically only applies to real emergencies...

Communication can be compared to like a volley ball game or a tennis match. After you've sent the ball over you just have to wait for them to send the ball back. Sometimes it might feel like it's taking forever, but sending several balls all at once will only smother your opponent!

Meeting new people can be very fun and exciting... Remember not to smother your new friend! Take your time serving the ball, and don't be upset or take it personally when they take their time throwing the ball back.

It's easy to put our friends up on a pedestal (especially new ones that we don't know well yet). I personally have a real problem here! When we have a void in our lives it's easy to try and fill it with someone who is too small to fill the mold... Remember that we are all human and that no one is perfect. There is no perfect friendship or relationship!

" 'Cause you like me too much and I like you." - George Harrison

"A day in the life..."

Lately I've seen a lot of people complaining about how much creative people charge for their services. In particular the ones being accused the most for overcharging are photographers. For the most part I've kept my mouth shut even though I agree with the photographers stand point when they put on paper a detailed evaluation of the cost associated with being an amazingly creative photographer.

The problem with me... I'm not a photographer... I did try it for like a day and while my artistic eye really is capable of doing some great edits I don't have the people skills to deal with bridezillas or overtired cranky children and remain calm and smiling while trying to naturally pose them while their parents or caregivers nag me about little details... Micha Everett, Leslie Roark, and Hannah Seay do have those kinds of skills so I recommend everyone call them and pay them what they are worth for their great talent.

I'm an artist. My medium is whatever you can come up with. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. When you hire me for a project I can make whatever you are looking for! The problem I have is that I can't lay out a price sheet. My projects are all so different and most times I end up selling myself short. I usually end up making my prices too low up front so as I put in my countless hours into a project I am not able to fully put my heart into it...

Lately I've been working on a project that I thought was going to be fairly quick and easy. I'm drawing cartoon illustrations for a book. That type of picture is something that would typically only take me an hour or so to do. Unfortunately the demands from the client have caused me to spend right around 15-20 hours per picture. When I take into account my expenses and the hours compared to what I'm getting paid I'm making right around 50 cents an hour... It's really heart breaking to think that as an artist I'm only worth 50 cents an hour... In the beginning I kept telling myself I'm doing it for the exposure (considering I signed the rights to my work over to the author and I will get nothing more than the 50 cents an hour... all I really get is exposure... and enough money to buy a coke each week I work... a small coke... from McDonald's...)

The truth is I'd rather get my exposure working on projects for friends and family that truly appreciate my worth rather than stressing and working so hard for a measly 50 cents an hour...

I write this blog for fun. It's my way of stepping out of reality and putting my thoughts out there and pretend that thousands of people read it when really only a couple hundred do.

I'm an artist. Everyone who knows my real name knows that I'm an artist. My passion is with art and while I make my living being married to an assistant grocery manager I like to pretend that I make my living being an artist and a writer.

I put my heart and soul in every blog, every picture, every story, every thing that comes out of my artistic God gifted brain of mine... I have talents that go beyond that of any normal person... I thought about bragging about myself for once and actually listing them but that made this blog longer than I like to make them.

The bottom line is right now I'm feeling under appreciated as an artist. I know that the economy is big to blame for this, and I know I'm not the only artist suffering because of it.